A Million Shades of Grey

I'm tired.

I'm so tired of the hate that's coming through my screens lately.

I'm so tired of turning tragedies & people into hashtags.

I'm so tired of stereotypes that are continuously perpetuated by the media.

I'm tired of worrying about the ones I love who happen to be black.

GOOD GOD.

What are we doing to each other?

Why are we hurting one another?

Why does the amount of melanin in someone's skin engulf another in such fear?

I'm tired.

Aren't you tired?

I'm so tired.

Last week my boyfriend and I went to see a show in NYC.

We parked on the street.

We came out of the show, and his car was gone.

Naturally there's a certain sense of panic when one parks his or her car in a location, only to return and have it not be there. 

Was it towed? Was it stolen? What happened?

We called the cops, and they eventually came. They were kind. Polite. Helpful. They told us his car was hit, and subsequently towed.

They gave us the information on where to get the car, and went along their route. We went home.

Nobody was hurt, thank god.

Nobody was hurt. thank god.

Nobody was hurt, thank god.

Not a scratch from the accident, not a bullet from a cop.

Thank God.

I cannot wrap my head around what's going on in this country lately.

It seems to be getting worse, this racial tension. Or maybe it's always been this bad, and we know about it now, cause of cell phones. Cause of social media. Cause of the big bad internet...

...I don't know.

I don't know how to fix this - and make no mistake, something must be fixed.

It's not about listening to cops. So many of these stories have been people who have listened to the women and men who wear blue.

It's about acknowledging the underbelly of this all - fear of those who are different than you.

I'm starting to think that we have to be honest with one another - to acknowledge the fact that some of us are scared of those who have more melanin in their skin.

I for one do not understand such fears. My goddaughters are black. My best friend is black. Her son is black. My colleagues are black. There is so much black in my life, and I am not afraid.

But this is not about me.

It's about those who are afraid. It's about the families and communities that are being broken.

I don't know what the answer is - but a conversation seems like the place to start.

I don't know what the answer is, but what I do know is something must be done. And it cannot be meeting violence with more violence.

But something must be done.

We argue about black and white. We kill about black and white. But the world is a million shades of grey. 

I don't know what to say anymore.

All I know is thus - love and respect needs a louder voice in this world. Give love when you can, call out hate when you see it. Educate those who don't get it.

We all need to be better.

We all need to do better.