I had a dream about you both last week.
We were all at a beach house - I don't know where, but I could feel the ocean. I don't know who was there, but I could feel the love.
I came up the stairs to the deck, and there were people milling about - laughing, dancing, eating. It was summertime, the air was warm, bellies were full, and everyone was happy.
I saw you first, Robin.
The doors to the house opened, big sliding glass ones, and out you came. You were talking to someone, I can't remember who, and you were laughing. I was startled to see you, to have you there, but you just gave me a big smile, looked directly at me, and pointed to the end of the deck.
And there was Ricky, at the end of the deck, taking pictures of everyone. Awful candid photos, but it was making everyone laugh, especially Mary.
I don't remember what happened after that.
I'm pretty sure I woke up.
But I woke with a sense of happiness, a sense of peace. I woke knowing that you two are taking care of one another, and always looking down at us all.
I wasn't going to write about this dream.
But today is Valentine's Day - and I'm finding myself thinking of you both today. I'm finding myself wondering how many people are remembering those they've lost, but still continue to love.
So this is for you - the folks still walking this earth who are loving someone who's no longer with us.
I hope you find the strength to smile today, and if you can't, I hope you cut yourself some slack.
Repeat after me - cut yourself some slack.
Celebrate the tiny steps, like, getting out of bed. Getting dressed. Taking a shower.
Cause the fact that the world turns into a Hallmark store can be a lot for your heart. The roses and red and pink and chocolate can be overhwhelming...so wear black if you need to. Watch a horror movie. Eat a salad. Or stuff your belly with all the chocolate you can handle had watch P.S. I Love You on repeat and cry until you don't have anymore tears left.
Whatever it is - I just hope you take care of your heart.
I hope the memories of your love are kind to you, although I know they're bound to pierce the heart a bit.
I hope you know that your love withstands time and space, and that just because he or she does not walk this earth, the love they had for you, and the love that you had for one another stays.
I hope you know that there are so many people who are left on this earth that still love you to the moon and back. And while we don't pretend to know the extent of your loss, we'd do anything to take your pain away.
And when you're staring at your ceiling as you fall asleep, I hope remember that you are loved.
Tell yourself that as many times as you need to.
Carry it with you always.