I’ve never been comfortable with silence.
Quite honestly, it freaks me out.
I come from a loud Italian family that doesn’t know the meaning of inside voices. At family functions we have to yell over people to be heard. Chatter and noises and talking have been the very soundtrack of my life.
I find comfort in the noise.
I remember being on vacation when I was younger - my parents and my brother and I had gone to North Carolina, and we were going to see a movie.
We were the only people in the movie theatre.
Did I mention I’m a New Yorker, too?
So not only was it quiet - it empty.
I kept thinking some mass murderer was going to round the corner at any second. Ridiculous, I know, but empty spaced seemed unnatural, as did the quiet.
I was used to people.
I was used to chatter.
I was used to chaos.
. . .
This summer I started having my coffee in silence, and outside.
I’d stare at the green trees and watch the birds and look at the sky - and I thought, gee, I’m turning into an 85 year old woman.
Well, no, not really.
But there was something about sipping coffee and sitting in silence that made for a good start to my day - and that’s something I thought I’d never say.
Silence allows me to think more clearly. It forces me to dig a little deeper, and prioritize what’s going on in my brain.
Don’t get me wrong - I still love heated conversations. I’m still loud. I still thrive on the hustle and bustle of people and the city - after all, I am in the business of storytelling. And with that. business comes a lot of chatter, a lot of chaos, and a lot of conversations.
But, I’ve grown to like the quiet. I’ve started to appreciate nature. I have begun to look forward to those moments and mornings of sitting in silence.
In a world and a profession where tweets and posts and likes permeate our every move, it’s nice to just sit alone with my thoughts, and my cup of coffee, and savor every sip.
If you listen, the silence will give way to your dreams. The silence will tell you all you need to know about your fears.
If you pay attention, the silence will tell you so much of what you really need to know.